


The Next Step

by Lisa_Telramor



Series: Arrangements [4]
Category: Hikaru no Go
Genre: Adulthood, Coming Out, Meet the Family, Multi, Parenthood, Polyamory, Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-05
Updated: 2019-08-05
Packaged: 2020-07-31 14:06:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 17,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20116318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lisa_Telramor/pseuds/Lisa_Telramor
Summary: I had really bad writer's block in June/July and it had me poking through my old WIPs. I came across this in my 'probably not going to finish' folder and figured what the hell, why not poke at it? This was intended to be the last part in the Arrangement series that I started waaaay back in 2012. Hahaaa. ._. Yeah. It's finally finished now, so here ya go, fic no one wanted but me because I wanted closure.





	The Next Step

**Author's Note:**

> I had really bad writer's block in June/July and it had me poking through my old WIPs. I came across this in my 'probably not going to finish' folder and figured what the hell, why not poke at it? This was intended to be the last part in the Arrangement series that I started waaaay back in 2012. Hahaaa. ._. Yeah. It's finally finished now, so here ya go, fic no one wanted but me because I wanted closure.

It was somewhere during their fifth year of marriage, late at night in the winter with Hikaru sleeping between them that Natsume reached out to her husband and took his hand. “Akira-san.”

Akira almost asleep, rolled to look at her. “Yes?”

“I think I’m ready to have a child.”

“Already?” It seemed too soon, but in retrospect it wasn’t too soon at all following a natural progression of things. Though it was hardly a normal marriage as Hikaru’s snoring presence demonstrated.

“I am already over thirty,” Natsume explained into the dark. She curled closer into Hikaru’s warmth. “We are not getting any younger.” She smiled. “And five years is hardly ‘already’ to the rest of the world.”

“Oh.” Akira tried to see her face through the dark, but there wasn’t enough light to make out her expression or see the emotions in her eyes. He leaned back into the blankets and Hikaru’s head rolled off his pillow and onto Akira’s shoulder. “We’ll need to discuss this with Hikaru.”

“Of course.” Natsume let go of his arm, latching on to Hikaru’s side. Hikaru had less sharp angles than Akira making him the perfect pillow. “I feel it would be a good idea to have a child soon before we are too tired to raise it and our parents too old to help.”

“I will think about it,” Akira promised. Because it was the natural progression in a marriage. You had children.

*o*o*

“Kids?” Hikaru laughed nervously. “Already? I mean we’re not even thirty yet.”

“Actually, Hikaru-san, I am thirty-one,” Natsume pointed out.

“Oh. Uh…” It wasn’t that he was against the idea of children, it was just…different. And he finally felt like their dynamic worked. Wouldn’t adding another person—another very tiny, demanding, baby sort of person—going to mess with their balance?

“Hikaru, we’re in this together,” Akira said. He sipped his tea. His hair was getting long, Hikaru noted. Why was it that they drank tea whenever there were serious discussions to be had? They’d drunk two whole pots of tea when they discussed Hikaru moving in with Akira and Natsume. Most of it was consumed by Akira and Natsume. Hikaru tended to let it grow cold and swirl it around in his cup. Akira set the tea cup down. “If you aren’t ready for this step, we can wait. A child has always been in our future plans though.”

“I know.” It was something they discussed early in their relationship along with boundaries, comfort-zones, and proper use of toiletries. (Hikaru wasn’t guilty in the least for his misuse of the last one. Akira hadn’t been complaining at the time either. He was just upset about the state of the bathroom later.) “Well…it takes months for a child to be born, right? That’s plenty of time to get used to the idea.”

Natsume and Akira exchanged a look. She raised an eyebrow, he sighed. “There’s another thing,” Akira said. “About…parentage. Are you interested in your own biological children?”

“Kids? Me?!” Hikaru gaped at Natsume. “Uh, well, I kind of assumed they’d be…err…your kids, Akira since you’re married to Natsume. And, uh, I guess they’re Natsume’s kids too and all since, uh…” He trailed off blushing. It was so much harder to think of sex as creating children than just…sex. For fun and intimacy. And oh, god, Natsume would carry a tiny person in her for nine months. How weird was that? He shook his head and tried to answer honestly. “I never really thought about having kids. I guess kids are ok, but I never really felt like I had to have any of my own. Akari has a kid and that’s weird to think about, and Mom wants grandkids, but I never really planned on providing any.”

“I am not averse to having more than one child,” Natsume said. “I would actually like more than one child as in my own childhood I often would have liked a sibling for a playmate.”

Hikaru tried to wrap his head around not just _one_ child but _two_ or maybe more. “You know, I’m happy just being Uncle Hikaru or something. Really.”

Natsume smiled, no doubt seeing right through his bluster to his discomfort beneath, but she didn’t comment on it. “The option is still available in the future if you want it.”

“We’re at a good point in our lives for this,” Akira assured Hikaru. “Our careers are well on their way, we’re young enough to have the energy for a child, and our parents are close enough by to help with childcare when our schedules lead to difficulties.”

Hikaru had a feeling there would be a lot of scheduling difficulties. The life of a professional Go player wasn’t as predictable as a nine to five office job. But Akira was right. As things were now, either Akira or Hikaru were usually available to be with Natsume—and therefore a future child—most days.

“Ok,” Hikaru said. “So we’re having a baby.” Right. He could get used to the idea. He drained his tea cup. “So Natsume, what now?”

“We wait.” She sipped her tea. Both the men stared as she set the cup down. “Babies don’t happen instantly.”

*o*o*

“Are you okay with this?” Akira said. They were in Natsume’s garden under the wisteria tree on its trellis. It wasn’t flowering at the moment but it had promising buds along some of the trailing vines. Akira clipped a wayward branch. Natsume was on the other end of the garden working on her flower beds as it was the first day both warm and dry enough to get a decent amount of work in. The wisteria was a foreign variety lacking fragrance, but it didn’t take years to bloom. Natsume had another native tree in the garden she was raising patiently to maturity, but for the moment they could enjoy the light purple flowers the vines produced.

“You clipped too much,” Hikaru said taking the vine from Akira. “See?” He measured empty space where the branch had been. “If you left a few more inches it would have dipped a bit rather than sticking out all weird.”

“Excuse me for not comprehending garden aesthetics.” If it stuck out noticeably, clip it. He didn’t sit through most of Hikaru and Natsume’s discussions on gardening. Actually, he still found it strange that Hikaru enjoyed gardening as it was something that took patience. “And that isn’t the issue.”

Hikaru twitched the cut branch in his hands back and forth. “Yeah. I know. I said congratulations right?”

“You looked terrified when you said it.” Akira glanced at the other end of the garden. Natsume had started in on a new row of flowers seemingly unaware of them dawdling next to the wisteria. He was willing to bet she was carefully not listening, trying to give them all the privacy they needed to have this conversation.

“I didn’t mean to be.” Hikaru sighed. “I guess I’m just nervous.”

“About what?”

“The baby!” Hikaru tossed the clipping onto the pile of weeds they’d accumulated in the last half hour of dancing around the subject. “How…I mean, what if there’s no room for me? I know it’s selfish and all but I’m really happy. I don’t want it to get complicated.”

Hikaru, Akira thought, had come a long way from dating and dumping every few months. Akira, in his more romantic moments, liked to think it was because Hikaru had finally found someone—_more _than one—to keep him company. In his selfish moments, he hoped it was him alone, but he knew that without Natsume they probably would have been more explosive than steady in a relationship. He set down the clippers. “You realize that having a baby won’t change what you mean to us, right?”

“I know just…the situation changes.” Hikaru flopped to the ground getting grass stains on his jeans. Akira followed more carefully. “People already gossip. Can you imagine what they’ll say?”

“Yes.” They’d talked about it before. There was always talk about him and Hikaru from the first time they were seen fighting over a Go board. It hadn’t gone away when Akira married. If anything, their relationship was the biggest open secret since Ogata’s obsession over Sai. Most people didn’t assume Natsume was part of the relationship though.

“You don’t care?”

“So long as we know the truth, I don’t feel that it matters. It is not anyone else’s business anyway.” Akira shrugged, putting his hand on Hikaru’s. Hikaru stared at their interlocked fingers as if trying to puzzle how they got like that, tangled so tight they looked like they had always been that way. “We knew things would not be easy and that not everyone in our lives would understand. Things will work out.”

“Akira, we haven’t even told our parents.”

Akira’s hand clenched around Hikaru’s reflexively. He was pretty sure his parents had an idea of what was going on, but he knew Natsume’s parents were ignorant. It wasn’t too surprising to know that Hikaru’s family also was never told.

“My mom thinks I’m seeing someone steadily but I’m just too embarrassed to bring her home.” Hikaru rested his forehead on his knees. “I think my dad suspects I’m gay and am afraid to bring home my boyfriend. He keeps making thinly veiled comments about how they’d be glad to meet whoever I’m dating no matter what they’re like. And Mom just looks at him blankly every time like she doesn’t get it. Aaagh…” His free hand scrubbed through his hair, leaving a smear of dirt on his cheek. “I don’t want to visit them anymore. What kind of awful son am I?”

Akira stroked the back of Hikaru’s hand with his thumb. “Do you think we should tell them? Our parents? We could get everything out of the way before the baby comes; set everything straight so that we won’t have to explain why you are such a large part of the pregnancy and child-rearing?”

Hikaru shrugged. “I don’t know. It might get my mom to stop poking about imposing on your home. She keeps saying I should get my own place again rather than invading your space like you and Natsume are still newlyweds.” He wrinkled his nose at the thought of Akira ever acting like newlyweds in movies. He couldn’t pull off the sickly-sweet devotion and playfully sexy. The closest to it was affectionate, and his devotion came across as almost scarily intense, like his expression across the board in a particularly exciting game of Go.

“Natsume will register her pregnancy soon,” Akira said absently. “We’ll decide once she does?”

“Sure… God, I hope that all this doesn’t explode in our faces. Like what if your parents end up hating me? Or my parents think I’m a home wrecker or a pervert or something?”

“They’re your parents,” Akira said. “Your father at least sounds accepting of you existing outside the norm. My parents, I’m sure, will be accepting of me provided I am discreet and it makes me happy. They worried when I married Natsume if they were doing the right thing suggesting that I marry. I think they will understand that in arranged marriages agreements are made by the couple to be happy while still doing their duty to their parents and each other.”

Hikaru leaned to his right, resting his head on Akira’s shoulder. “Think Natsume will tell her parents?”

“Hm.” Akira shifted so that Hikaru could lean more comfortably. “No. Her family is stricter with traditions than even my own. They could probably accept that I found a lover but I doubt they’d be comfortable with the thought of their daughter sharing a lover with her husband.”

“Damn.”

“Mm.”

Natsume waved from the flower bed, three neat rows of pansies. They were blue, purple and pale pink that would look nice contrasting the daffodils, tulips, and iris planted behind them. The greens were already up and the buds gaining color as they neared opening. She had a smudge of dirt on her face close to where Hikaru had one, making Akira smile. How many more days would he be able to enjoy this peace?

Hikaru reached out and smeared dirt on one corner of Akira’s cheek. “There. Now you match.”

“Hey!” Akira swatted Hikaru’s hands away and Natsume laughed. Akira made sure more dirt got on Hikaru’s face than on himself and turned back to gardening like nothing out of the ordinary happened. Hikaru sputtered behind him wiping dirt from his face as Natsume’s laughter filled the yard. He would probably end up filthy by the end of the day’s work, but Akira couldn’t bring himself to mind too much.

*o*o*

“Holy—” Hikaru stared at the kitchen counter and the overflow of bags on it. One seemed to be full of fat bottles of pills. The rest were full of vegetables and things he’s seen at health food stores when his mother took him shopping last time she was on a diet. “Guys? What’s all this?”

“Welcome home.” Natsume came up behind Hikaru touching his arm in greeting. He kissed her on the cheek noting her flushed face and the displacement of her blouse. Hmm. That explained why the groceries hadn’t been put away yet.

“I see you got started without me,” Hikaru said without any bitterness. He smiled over her shoulder when Akira appeared in the doorway. “So what’s with all the meds and vegetables?”

“They are vitamins and dietary supplements,” Natsume said. She took Hikaru’s hand and led him to the counter. “These ones have nutrients that help the baby grow healthily for the first few months. This bottle,” she picked up a smaller one, “is for later. We decided it was best to get them all at once. The food of course, is to ensure I am eating properly.”

“You already eat healthily,” Hikaru said. It was a bit overwhelming to see all the things going into having a baby before it was even born. He hadn’t expected it to be so complicated. Sure, once the baby was born there would be diapers and baby food and formula and who knew what else, but was having a baby such a big deal? “Do you really need all of this?”

“I suppose I do not need all of it,” Natsume said. She turned a bottle over in her hands. “But it makes me feel better. I want to do everything right.”

“Until the baby is born, it’s going to be taking nutrients it needs from Natsume, so the dietary supplements will help.” Akira started putting vegetables in the refrigerator. The nonchalance of this was offset by how his shirt was untucked. He’d probably be annoyed once he noticed it; Akira did prefer to be put together at all times.

“And the vegetables and…things?” Hikaru opened one of the bags and wrinkled his nose at the package of _natto_ at the bottom. There were soba noodles and daikon radish in there as well.

“I hope you don’t mind a more strictly traditional diet,” Natsume said. She accepted the package of noodles from Hikaru, sliding it into the proper cupboard. “I’ll need to eat more balanced meals for the duration of my pregnancy.”

“That’s fine,” Hikaru said, feeling a little overwhelmed. He vaguely remembered Akari mentioning something about Japanese food for a Japanese baby when she was pregnant, but he hadn’t really paid too much attention to the details back then. “Uh. Is there anything I can do to help?”

“Just keep doing what you’ve been doing,” Natsume said, looking amused. She patted Hikaru’s cheek as she crossed to get the last of the groceries. “If I need anything I will be sure to let you and Akira-san know.”

Hikaru looked at Akira wondering if he was the only one feeling in over his head with this. To his disappointment, Akira looked almost as amused as Natsume. “I have books that you should probably read,” Akira said. “They help.”

“Okay.” Hikaru could handle this. He could handle all of it, sure. It just was different. “Okay, I’ll…get on that soon then.”

“Oh,” Natsume said, pausing from where she was lining up bottles of prenatal vitamins. “Hikaru-san, I registered my pregnancy today. Have you thought more about talking to your parents?”

“Uh…” He hadn’t forgotten. It was hard to forget when his mother had brought up dating _again_ when she’d called over the weekend. He’d just tried not to think too hard about it.

“I’m planning to talk to my parents the next free day we all have,” Akira said, leaning on the kitchen counter. “It’s better to have us all there.”

Hikaru stifled nervous laughter. He couldn’t imagine what sort of expression Touya Kouyo would have on his face when they told him that Hikaru had been invited into his son’s marriage. It probably wouldn’t be a good expression, but it would probably be handled more calmly than Hikaru’s mother would take it. If she was flustered enough at Hikaru moving into Akira’s home, she’d probably be scandalized to think about Hikaru in a polyamorous relationship.

“Well,” Hikaru said slowly, “I guess we can do the same thing with my parents. Um. After yours.” A bubble of hysteria made him choke of a laugh, and both Natsume and Akira looked at him curiously. Hikaru waved a hand. “It’s nothing, just… Mom thinks I have a secret girlfriend and Dad thinks I’m gay and have a boyfriend, and they’re kind of both right.”

Akira and Natsume exchanged a look. “You don’t have to talk to them about it if it makes you uncomfortable,” Natsume said. “Hikaru-san, if you think they will react badly, then there’s nothing wrong with continuing to keep quiet. You know I am not going to tell my own parents. Much as I care for them, they aren’t the most open minded people.”

“I know.” Hikaru sighed. He stared at the vitamin supplements. Natsume would be visibly pregnant soon. There would be questions, and he didn’t owe strangers any kind of response, but Hikaru didn’t like lying to people. He was kind of a terrible liar anyway. His parents would ask eventually, and honestly, he kind of wanted to be open with them about this. Akira had to want that too since he had been talking about telling his parents since they first started discussing babies. “I don’t think they’re going to be happy, but I don’t think they’d disown me for this either. I mean, they won’t understand it. They didn’t understand my interest in Go either, though, so it’s not like it’s the first time I’ve shocked and confused them. They’ll get over it.”

“We’ll be right there with you,” Natsume said, placing her hand on Hikaru’s.

“Yeah.” Hikaru smiled. “I know.” He kissed her cheek and took quiet pleasure in how her eyes lit up at a simple act of affection. He set a hand on her hip. “So,” he said changing the topic, “since when has grocery shopping become a turn on because Akira totally had his hands places right before I got here.”

Natsume’s eyes glimmered with mischief. “Only Akira-san’s hands?”

“Natsume!” Hikaru said, fake scandalized.

She laughed and across the room Akira pretended he was long suffering instead of amused by them. It was all new and strange and a little scary what they were getting into, Hikaru thought, but so long as they had this, they’d be okay.

*o*o*

Hikaru was wearing a yukata and very self-conscious in it. It wasn’t that he didn’t wear one sometimes. He wore suits regularly these days too, so formal clothing wasn’t exactly strange. But…there was a difference in wearing a yukata to a festival as a child and teenager and wearing one to his lovers’ parents’ home as an adult.

Natsume set a hand on his elbow as he fidgeted yet again on the walk toward the front door. “You’re fine. Stop fiddling with it.”

“Did we have to come dressed up? They’re definitely going to know something’s up.” Hikaru did come to the occasional family meal, but it had never been a formal occasion.

“Akiko-san said she wanted to have a formal meal,” Natsume said, looking far too calm considering what they planned to reveal at this dinner. “Usually she does one for something seasonal, but she and Kouyou-san were out of the country for most of the cherry blossom season.”

“Why didn’t I know that? I feel like I should have known that.” Hikaru pulled at his sleeve again. This time Akira stilled his hand.

“Ordinarily, we wouldn’t force you along to something formal,” Akira said. He smiled, but the slight crease between his eyebrows gave away his nerves. At least Hikaru wasn’t alone in his nervousness. “Although, you’re probably going to be invited in the future after this.”

“If they don’t get angry.” Hikaru swallowed. Touya Kouyou was intimidating at the best of times; he really didn’t want to see what he’d look like if he was actually angry. “I like your parents. I really don’t want them to hate me.”

“Hikaru, if they are upset, it wouldn’t be just at you,” Akira pointed out drily. “We all share responsibility in this relationship.”

“Yes, but I’m the only one intruding on a marriage.”

“You are not intruding anywhere,” Natsume said, fitting herself on Hikaru’s left while Akira strode the last few steps to the door on Hikaru’s right.

Caught between them with Natsume’s hand on his elbow and Akira’s still brushing the back of his right hand, Hikaru felt a bit less scared. They would be doing this together.

Akira’s mother greeted them at the door. Hikaru could see her take in how they were standing—at least she’d known Hikaru would be there, wouldn’t that have been awkward, to be the uninvited guest?—but Touya Akiko was too polite to let anything she was thinking on her face.

“Natsume-chan, Akira-san, Shindou-kun.” She smiled and nodded to them each in turn. Was Hikaru imagining that her nod to him had been a little stiffer than usual? He couldn’t tell; he was looking for anything off right now. “Please come in. Kouyou is in the dining room.”

“Thank you for having us,” Natsume said, taking over the social niceties.

Hikaru tuned her and Akira’s mother out as he walked through the front door and exchanged his _geta_ for house slippers. Akira was an anchoring presence at his side, fingers brushing Hikaru’s wrist reassuringly as they made their way into the house. Behind him, Natsume commented on the choice of decorations or flowers or something. It went over his head.

“How long is this dinner going to last?” Hikaru asked Akira under his breath.

“Usually there are seven courses,” Akira murmured, “so it will be a few hours.”

“_Seven_?” Hikaru paled. How were they going to sit through seven courses of food? What did people talk about for that much time? At what point was Akira planning to tell them? Would they have to sit through a bunch of courses with awkwardness in the air?

“It’s a formal meal.” Akira raised an eyebrow, leading the way into the dining room still leaning into Hikaru’s space. “Relax. You’ve eaten meals with my parents before.”

“Not _seven course formal meals!_” Hikaru hissed.

Akira pushed him toward one of the cushions on the floor. Oh god, he’d have to sit formally. For hours. Well, no, he had managed during Go games for years now, but that was a very different thing. Hikaru found himself seated next to Touya Kouyou, a fresh cup of tea set in front of him courtesy of Akira’s mom. Natsume was across from him, Akira next to her, and Akiko at the end of the table where she could come and go to get new dishes. Natsume smiled reassuringly.

“It is good to see you, Shindou-san,” Kouyou said. “I have enjoyed following your games in the current Honinbou league. If you continue playing at this level, you have a chance of playing title match games.”

Hikaru let himself relax a bit into the familiar flow of conversation about Go. Akira joined in, and Hikaru barely noticed the first course becoming the third course as they debated the remaining opponents before they would be able to challenge for the Honinbou title. He was aware of Akiko coming and going as they talked, and Natsume pointing out the different seasonal foods or the arrangement of food or the pattern on the lacquered bowls of sea bream soup, but it was a tangential awareness. Every once in a while, Natsume or Akiko would add to their conversation, and Hikaru found that even with the formal clothing and seating arrangements, and the perfect-looking portions of food that arrived with each course, it didn’t actually feel much different than meals usually did with Akira’s family.

For a while, he stopped being nervous about why they were there and forgot the purpose behind the visit entirely…at least until Akiko brought out their dessert and fresh tea to chase away the sharp taste of sake and the lingering savory flavor of clam rice and miso soup.

As pretty _sakura_ patterned plates with individual strawberry _daifuku_ clicked against the table in front of them, Natsume reached out and touched Akira’s wrist. All of Hikaru’s nerves rushed back, leaving him feeling like the large meal of rich food might be coming back up depending on how the next few minutes panned out.

Akira glanced at Hikaru, catching his eye so that they were all on the same page, and took a breath. Conversation had petered out when Akiko presented the last dish. Cups of strong green tea were placed in front of them and Akira cleared his throat. “Mother, Father, there are a few things we would like to tell you.”

Hikaru was hyper aware of Kouyou shifting next to him. He didn’t dare look to see what kind of expression was on his face. He kept his eyes on Akira because it was the safest option.

“What is it?” Akiko prompted, returning to her seat.

Akira’s eyes went firm and determined the way they did across the Go board and there was the tiniest bit of movement as he sat straighter. “Mother, Father, Natsume and I are involved romantically with Hikaru.” There was a moment of complete silence. Akira wet his lips. “We have been for over a year now.”

“Both of you?” Akira’s mother said, voice faint.

Hikaru kept looking at Akira, taking strength in his resolve. He could see Natsume’s hand on Akira’s adding her own support. “Yes,” Akira said, looking at Hikaru, the eye contact as grounding as his hand in Hikaru’s would have been. “Both of us.”

“It was something we decided on together,” Natsume said, adding her voice to Akira’s. She sounded as calm and composed as ever, but there was steel under that calm that Hikaru rarely heard from her.

“Both of you,” Akiko repeated. Hikaru snuck a glance her way. She sat very straight, a bit pale and her face set neutral, though her tone carried over her shock clearly.

Touya Kouyou had one eyebrow raised, but Hikaru couldn’t read any emotion beyond that.

“You…have considered the social ramifications of…” Akiko trailed off.

“We have,” Akira said. Which was news for Hikaru, but then of course they must have. Natsume at least was aware of her social standing even if Hikaru had never paid attention to it and Akira picked and chose when he cared about social conventions. Akira smiled wryly. “We thought about it a long time, actually.”

“I see.”

“I had wondered,” Kouyou said, “when Shindou-san moved in with you.” His eyebrow slid higher. “Although I admit I hadn’t expected all three of you to be involved with each other.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Hikaru blurted, then felt horrified because now everyone was looking at him.

Kouyou looked faintly amused, the slightest hint of a smile at the corner of his mouth. “My son has had a fixation on you for years. It would not have surprised me if he ended up involved with you.”

“Kouyou!” Akiko said, sounding scandalized.

Kouyou looked at her. “Akiko, it is no more scandalous to insinuate Shindou-san was involved with Akira than him being involved with both of them.”

“Akira-san wouldn’t do that to Natsume-san!” Akiko insisted.

“I doubt he would have gone behind Natsume-san’s back,” Kouyou said.

Natsume surprised everyone by laughing softly. The conversation derailed as they all looked at her. She smiled openly. “No, Akira-san would never go behind my back. In fact, he is more likely to encourage me to act on my emotions before he considers acting on his own.”

Now it was Akira’s turn to feel embarrassed. “Natsume…”

She squeezed his hand, still smiling, the same mischievous glint in her eyes that Hikaru had come to know shining bright. “It’s true,” she said. “Akira-san was too worried about offending me to act even after we were aware that our feelings pointed in the same direction.”

“There is passing conversation and a serious discussion,” Akira said, face still pink.

“Well,” Akiko said. She crossed her hands in her lap and blinked. “Well, I suppose…I suppose that I should be glad that you are…content with your arrangement.”

“We are,” Akira said firmly. He held out a hand to Hikaru and Hikaru felt relieved to touch it. He’d have been glad if he could reach Natsume too, but there was too much space across the table to do that. “We don’t intend to shout our relationship from the rooftops,” Akira said, “but we felt that now was the time to share it with our family.”

“Do your parents know?” Akiko asked Natsume, turning her head to include Hikaru.

“You’re the first people we’ve told,” Hikaru said. He tugged on his yukata sleeve. “Actually, we’re planning to tell my parents…sometime next week.” He really needed to get to planning that.

Akiko nodded, glanced at Natsume, who was shaking her head. Her smile had gone softer, sadder.

“I don’t intend to have this discussion with my parents,” she said. “I love them dearly. I always will, and will do my best to keep caring for them, but... They would never accept something like this.”

This news clearly upset Akiko more than the thought of their relationship if the way her forehead scrunched, but she didn’t comment on it, just nodded once more. “Shindou-san, I hope to talk with your parents sometime in the future, since…since you will be a part of the family.”

“Of course, Akiko-san,” Hikaru said quickly. He wondered how his parents would interact with Akira’s considering how different their backgrounds and interests were. Well, that was a problem for another time.

“There is one more thing to talk about,” Natsume said, drawing attention back to herself. She smiled at Akira, invited Hikaru to smile with her. “I am expecting.”

Another silence, this one less from a breach of social norms and more from normal surprise. “That’s great,” Akiko said sounding much more sincere than she had about their relationship. “How far along are you…?”

“The doctor estimated about two and a half months.” Natsume folded her hands over her stomach. “I do hope you will be able to advise me later on what to expect. It is always good to learn from the experience of others.”

Hikaru had to hand it to Natsume, she knew how to smooth over a situation. He kind of hoped she’d be able to do the same with his parents if they ended up needing it. He knew he’d probably only make things worse if he opened his mouth. He exchanged a glance with Akira, relief filling them both as conversation between Natsume and Akiko turned to the baby rather than staying on their relationship.

Kouyou had a small smile on his face as he ate his dessert and sipped at the bitter green tea that accompanied it. “It’s good to see you settled. Not only because I look forward to a grandchild,” he said softly to Akira, including Hikaru with a glance.

Akira smiled. “We really are happy with how things have gone. Adding a child…it is going to be different, but it feels like the right time.”

“I’m sure having another pair of hands will be a great help,” Kouyou said with good humor. He glanced at Natsume and Akiko’s smiles as Akiko brought up her own experience with her pregnancy. “And you won’t lack for other help either.”

“Thank you,” Akira said.

Hikaru took that to mean his sort-of in-laws would gladly do babysitting. Well. He hoped they’d do babysitting. He hoped his parents and Natsume’s parents would too. He felt a little terrified again by the fact that they were—Natsume was—bringing another human being into existence. A human being who would have wants and needs and someday opinions. A human being he hoped he wouldn’t screw up because out of the three of them, he knew it was most likely to be him to mess up spectacularly.

Akira was smiling and so were Natsume and Akiko and Touya Kouyou, even after they’d told their secret though, so the world wasn’t imploding yet. Hikaru nibbled on his _daifuku_. As Akira got pulled into the conversation about doctors and Akiko’s pregnancy with Akira, Hikaru found himself smiling too.

Yeah. Yeah, it was all still pretty scary. But it was exciting as well. Besides, if Akira’s traditionally minded parents were taking everything this well, Hikaru’s family would probably be ok.

*o*o*

Compared to the formality of telling Akira’s parents, talking to Hikaru’s was anticlimactic. They’d met Akira before, and they’d at least heard about Natsume. Hikaru had expected more alarm than he got though.

Instead, he got his mother sighing as she passed a bowl of salad around his childhood kitchen table, and his father setting down his chopsticks to look between the three of them before getting up to get another beer.

“That’s it?” Hikaru asked, accepting the salad bowl.

“Well, it’s not like I’ll be telling the neighbors,” his mother said, “but you’ve clearly made up your mind. It’s not like you’ve ever changed it because of what someone else thought.”

Hikaru passed the salad to Natsume and looked at his dad who had returned with enough drinks for all of them, whether they wanted one or not.

“You know,” his dad said, setting the bottles on the table, “after the whole Go thing, we accepted that we don’t really know what goes on in your life, and just got used to surprises. This is a lasting relationship at least.”

Hikaru’s mom snorted. “Considering his track record with girlfriends…”

“Oi, I wasn’t that bad!” Hikaru felt his ears burn with a blush. “I wasn’t!” he insisted, looking at Akira.

There wasn’t any help there. Akira was carefully not meeting his eyes and Natsume was trying not to laugh, though he could only tell the latter because he’d been living with them for months. “Hikaru-san,” Natsume said in her best conciliatory voice, “while you did not date casually, you did not date long term either.”

“I’m dating you two so clearly I can.”

“Yes,” Natsume said with a small smile. “You must not have met the right people before.”

“Well, no they never really understood about—” Hikaru narrowed his eyes at her. “You’re teasing again aren’t you?”

Natsume just kept smiling.

Hikaru’s mom sent around a plate of tempura. “It’s nice to finally know who he’s been seeing. He’s not subtle when he’s in a relationship,” she said. “Granted, I wasn’t expecting either of you, but it’s a pleasure to finally meet you, Natsume-san.” She smiled at Natsume and then at Akira. “And of course it’s always good to see you again, Akira-kun.”

Hikaru tried not to pout at his food. Of course his mom loved Akira. And always had. Because she thought he was a nice _polite_ boy. Pssh. If they only knew how Akira could yell his head off in public over Go, they’d think differently. They’d probably love Natsume even more because she could talk about things that his parents understood or were interested in. …Hopefully his parents would still like him considering both his romantic partners were more polite and attentive than Hikaru was. He might just have to try harder to keep on his mom’s good side.

“Are you okay?” Akira whispered, leaning in on the pretense of passing a bottle of soy sauce.

“My parents are probably going to adopt you and Natsume and make you their real son and replace me.”

Akira frowned, a crease between his eyebrows. The sideways look that accompanied it was Akira’s ‘I have no idea what the hell you’re going on about, but it’s ridiculous’ look. Usually it only showed up when Hikaru was drunk or sleep deprived and saying whatever came to mind at that given moment.

“No, seriously, Mom’s going to be giving me looks and guilt tripping me with stuff by saying you’d do it.”

“Hikaru, I’m sure your parents know you and care about you for who you are. They’re hardly going to replace you.”

“You say that now!” Hikaru hissed back. They were both leaning toward each other with the soy sauce bottle cupped between their hands. If he leaned any further, he’d be head-butting Akira in the forehead. “Never mind.” Hikaru pulled the soy sauce free. Akira had no idea how much Hikaru’s mom had wanted a son that actually acted like Akira did toward his mother. Hikaru _tried_ but he knew most of his interpersonal failings by this point, and being patient or considerate or listening carefully when he didn’t have an interest weren’t his strong suits.

He sat back up to find his parents both not-looking so obviously even he noticed. Akira sighed softly like when an opponent made a disappointing and predictable move when he’d expected better—Hikaru’d been on the receiving end of that sigh often enough that it made him feel defensive reflexively. The not-looking _could_ be a bad response, which had to be how Akira saw it, or it could just be some weird attempt of giving them privacy for something that wasn’t even all that intimate. Still, it made Hikaru want to point out that his parents weren’t reacting near as badly as Akira’s mom had.

Once again, Natsume chose to diffuse growing tension with news of her pregnancy. Cue both Hikaru’s parents looking excited. Hikaru hadn’t even known his dad _liked_ babies.

“You know,” his father said, “you really need to see Hikaru’s baby pictures to understand that he’s always been doing something unexpected.”

“Dad, no!” Hikaru groaned.

Akira and Natsume both smiled. “I’m sure we’d love to hear the stories,” Akira said.

Hikaru sank down in his chair. Of course. His whole family would side with his romantic partners. Still… He peeked at the smiles around the dinner table. This had gone well. He didn’t think there would be any problems about Akira of Natsume being accepted into the family.

*o*o*

A vase of cut flowers sat on the kitchen counter, left there by Natsume after her morning spent in the garden. Akira couldn’t remember the name of them at the moment. He knew that the daffodils had bloomed past their peak, that the dogwood was blooming, and that the lilac and the peonies were budding but not in bloom. They were pinkish red and in clusters, but he couldn’t remember which plant it was.

A few years ago, he wouldn’t have believed he would know near as much about flowers as he did now. It was interesting, he reflected, how close interaction with another person could change you in little ways. These days he did notice flowers. He noticed if a flower bed was well kept or not, and whether or not the plants in it were ones that needed a good deal of upkeep. Since Hikaru started living with them—or maybe before that, maybe as long as he’d considered Hikaru a friend—he’d started taking note of places that specialized in ramen, or, on several occasions, places that had displays on Shusaku. And he had influenced them both in turn. There were nights when Natsume would play a game of Go with both of them, each game her stones having that much more shape and purpose behind them as she improved and her strategy grew. Or how Hikaru had taken a liking to Akira’s favorite tea despite having hated it the first time he tried it.

And now their lives were changing in subtle ways, already making space for the new life that would be joining it, little ripples as the growing child exerted its presence already. In what they ate, in choices they made, in future plans.

It was different.

That didn’t make it a bad thing.

Akira touched one of the flower blossoms, the delicate petals soft and easily bruised under his fingertips. Oddly enough, he was handling the changes better than Hikaru. For someone who changed things around him as easily as Hikaru did, he didn’t seem to know what to do when change was asserted on him. Ordinarily, Akira wasn’t the best with change either. He liked his habits and his routines, the familiarity of surrounding himself with Go and the quiet life he had when he wasn’t immersed in his passion. But for Akira, children had always been an eventuality, just like marriage had been. Hikaru didn’t think the way Akira did though, and before they brought the topic up, children likely had never crossed his mind.

Right now Hikaru was getting lunch with Waya before he had a Go class to teach. Natsume was at her parents’ home for the rest of the day. It left Akira alone with his thoughts which, he thought wryly, could be a bad thing on days when he wasn’t in the middle of studying something. A rare weekday off, and no one to share it with.

Akira looked around the kitchen and tried to see it as it might be in a few years. A child hiding under the kitchen table, peeking between chair rungs. Natsume cooking for four instead of three. Maybe Hikaru crouched in the doorway to the living room with some favorite toy, encouraging a child to walk toward him. Perhaps a few more years, sitting at the table and pointing out simple life or death Go problems… A future need for a stepstool for the child to reach the kitchen sink. The cupboards that would need childproofing. Small hands carrying in flowers after an afternoon with Natsume in the garden. More and more possible future moments panned out in his imagination like potential patterns on the Go board. He could all but see a toddler with Natsume’s round face and his own cheekbones and eyes peeking out from behind the doorway.

He’d thought, when he married, that having a child would be something he did out of duty. Akira smiled at the open spaces of the kitchen that could one day hold all the possible futures he imagined and knew that this was something he truly wanted.

*o*o*

Natsume told her mother about her pregnancy on her own time. It wasn’t like Akira’s family or Hikaru’s; her mother expected to hear any news from Natsume personally and would pass it on to her father, and it would all be spoken of in private because that was the way her family worked. Her mother didn’t expect Akira to be there for such an announcement. If anything she would have found it strange. Natsume’s own father hadn’t been involved with childrearing much. Natsume respected how he’d provided for her and her mother, but they were not close the way she was close to her mother.

Her mother, at the news, looked relieved. “I’m glad to hear it,” she said. “I was beginning to wonder if your marriage had been successful after all.”

“We wanted to wait until we were ready,” Natsume said. “I have said that things are going well with Akira-san and me.”

“Of course,” her mother demurred, pouring Natsume fresh tea. “But when time goes on it does lead to questions.” Questions like fertility, and if the couple even shared a marital bed, Natsume knew. There had been enough worries over the fact that she was older than Akira.

“You won’t need to worry about that now,” Natsume said, pushing the topic aside. “I’ve registered the pregnancy and it is going well so far.”

“Are you eating what you should be? Diet is important in these formative months.”

“I talked with my doctor and have guidelines to follow.”

Her mother nodded. She looked very serious, but of course she did; she had miscarried twice before Natsume was born. “I’ll cook something for you at least once a week so you can rest.”

“You shouldn’t push yourself.” Her mother looked after her father’s health, and her own health frequently wasn’t well these days, but her mother shook her head.

“You have cared for me, continue to care for me. I can help my daughter meet the needs of her child-to-be.” She touched Natsume’s hand in a rare show of physical affection. “And I can do my best to be self-sufficient as you will have less time and energy.”

“If you think that is best,” Natsume demurred, planning to continue with her usual help as long as was physically possible.

“Now I do have one concern,” her mother said with a small frown. “You still have one of your husband’s friends staying with you. Surely he doesn’t intend to intrude on your home forever.”

“He isn’t intruding,” Natsume said with well-cultivated patience. “He helps around the home and is Akira-san’s closest friend. He is welcome so long as he wishes to stay.”

Her mother gave her that doubtful look that said she thought Hikaru was terribly rude but felt herself too polite to say so. “There have been… rumors that his presence might explain the lack of a child.”

For her mother, Natsume thought wryly, that was almost blunt. “As you can see, that is not an issue.”

“Of course,” her mother said, still with that tiny, doubtful frown. “Touya-san would not be so disrespectful.”

It would be terribly rude to her mother to laugh. Natsume covered the urge with a sip of her tea. “Of course.” She looked past her mother to the garden. It was minimalistic from necessity, her parents unable to tend it and Natsume too busy caring for them and her own household to care for both her parents’ garden and her own. It still had an old wisteria supported by a metal trellis. Its blossoms were heavy and blue, bright against the backdrop of green moss and dark stones. She centered herself on the image, seeking the inner peace plants brought her. “Hikaru-san is not the sort of man to break up a marriage, mother, nor is Akira-san.”

“Hikaru-san?” her mother echoed, eyebrows lifting.

“Hikaru-san asked that I call him by name. I have found a friend in him as well as Akira-san.”

Her mother’s eyebrows stayed up.

“He is not a very formal person,” Natsume added. She smiled. Hikaru had a way of stripping any formality away. “I hope that you have a chance to know him. He is an easy person to like.”

“If you say so,” her mother said.

Hikaru would either win her over with his unconventional charm, or he’d have her permanent disapproval, Natsume thought. There was no way that it would be somewhere in the middle with her mother.

“How is your garden,” her mother asked, and Natsume knew that for a little while at least her mother wouldn’t question Hikaru’s presence.

Good enough for the moment.

*o*o*

The reality of Natsume’s pregnancy didn’t set in at first. They’d told their families, registered with the doctor, bought parenting books and pre-natal supplies, yes, but their lives went on as normal. Akira and Hikaru had their matches and teaching games and lectures to give. Natsume had her parents to look after, her garden, and their home to upkeep. They slept together like usual, ate meals together when schedules aligned, played too many games of Go that ended in debates that usually ended in Natsume laughing at them or distracting them with snacks.

It was almost three weeks after the pregnancy was registered when Akira woke to his wife rushing out of bed for the bathroom. Hikaru was away for a game, so it took Akira’s half-awake brain several seconds to connect the movement to Natsume at all—she wasn’t the rushing type. Then the sound of retching met his ears and he realized what was happening. The books all said that morning sickness was a possibility.

They’d hoped that it would skip Natsume over when the sixth week came and went without a change.

Akira pulled himself out of bed, moving to the bathroom door. Natsume had her forehead pressed against the rim of the toilet, lips pressed tight and her hands balled in fists on the floor. She breathed slowly, in through her nose, out through her mouth. Akira touched her shoulder lightly. “Are you okay?”

Natsume breathed a few more breaths before answering. “I am uncomfortable, but this is nothing I was not expecting.”

Akira didn’t know how to comfort this. After a moment, he rubbed a hand against her back, like he remembered his own mother doing when he was young and had the stomach flu. Nausea was bad, but muscles tensed and waiting for the next wave often made the feeling worse. “Can I get you anything?”

Natsume leaned into his touch, relaxing slightly. “Tea?” she said. “I have ginger tea that I bought in the chance that I did get morning sickness.”

Akira patted her back once more and headed to the kitchen. Clicking on the electric kettle, he sifted through Natsume’s carefully organized cupboards for the correct tea, finding it behind several other packages they used on a daily basis. He kept his hands busy, picking a mug, pulling out a tea bag, getting honey from the cupboard to sweeten it to Natsume’s preferred taste; all trying not to let his ears strain for further sounds from the bathroom.

The kettle made an unholy amount of shrieking as it heated; it needed cleaned. Water, teabag, honey stirred in, and Akira padded back down the hall.

Natsume hadn’t moved, still white knuckled and pale. He set the tea next to her and hovered in the doorway.

“You don’t have to stay,” Natsume said after a minute of this. “I am not actually ill.”

“It feels wrong for you to be uncomfortable and not doing anything about it,” Akira said.

“You brought me tea,” she said.

“And it hasn’t helped yet.”

Natsume lifted her head and gave him a wry smile. “I need to drink some of it first. Now go sit down, Akira-san, you are making me anxious watching you.”

Akira went.

He picked up one of the pregnancy books, flipping to morning sickness, but there wasn’t much there other than to deal with it and eat and drink as much as were possible in small amounts through it, and seek help if nothing stayed down. The continued lack of more retching was reassuring that the latter didn’t seem to be a problem.

This, Akira thought, was the first change of many to come because of this baby’s presence. He made a mental note to add making ginger tea to his morning routine—or evening or any other time he was home because morning sickness was a misnomer and could happen at any time of day.

When Natsume still didn’t leave the bathroom, and a glance in showed some of the tea gone and Natsume doing breathing exercises with her eyes shut, Akira took it on himself to make breakfast.

Easing Natsume’s burden was something he could manage there at least.

*o*o*

Hikaru didn’t know what to do with a sick, pregnant woman. Neither did Akira, which, in Hikaru’s opinion, was a little funny to watch Akira be flustered and worried. On the other hand Hikaru was just as flustered and worried by Natsume’s ongoing morning sickness as Akira was. Ginger had become a central staple in most of their meals in one way or another.

Seeing Natsume rush off to the bathroom at least once a day was also a new normal.

Hikaru, after about a week of this, had called up his mother. He’d been assured it was well within normal, that his mother had in fact spent almost two months getting sick in mornings and evenings with him, and that so long as Natsume was still eating and drinking regularly and keeping it down, it really wasn’t anything to worry about. No matter what she said, there was nothing normal about puking your guts out if the wind blew a certain direction. Apparently sensitivity to smells was also common with pregnancies.

“So.” Hikaru waited Natsume out, carefully not watching, but staying close. “Tea?”

“No,” Natsume said, a bit hoarse. “Not this time. Just water will be fine.” She sighed. “I believe I will have to put gardening on hold today until the garbage has been collected for the week.”

Hikaru sniffed the air. The smell of garbage wasn’t strong, but it was gross—rancid remains of meat, probably. To actually drive Natsume away from her gardening, it had to smell terrible to her.

Natsume looked at her half-finished weeding with something very close to frustration on her face. Hikaru… really didn’t want to find out what an angry, frustrated Natsume would be like. “Ok! How about you get some water and I finish up the weeding?”

Natsume blinked and raised an eyebrow. “It is a task that can wait.”

“Yeah but you wanted it done today.” Hikaru shrugged. “I have the afternoon off. I can do a bit of yard work.”

For a moment it looked like she was going to refuse the offer, but her shoulders slumped. That actually made him more alarmed. She wasn’t even trying to look composed right now, and yeah, Natsume was way more relaxed with him than Akira, but for all that Hikaru had seen her in a bunch of intimate ways, this was the first time she’d ever looked vulnerable. “Thank you,” she said. “I had hoped there would be more time before the pregnancy kept me from my hobby.”

“Yeah… well, this is just for today. You’ll be better after garbage day. And if you’re not, just point Akira and me in a direction. We’ll be your hands.”

Natsume smiled and shook her head. “I’ll do that if I have to, but I will be gardening as long as I’m able.”

“Of course.” Hikaru wouldn’t take her from her passion. Hell, if someone tried to take his Go from him… He respected Natsume all the more because she voluntarily entered into this knowing she’d have to part from things she enjoyed for who knew how long. Hikaru didn’t think he’d be able to do it if their situations were reversed. “You sure you don’t need tea?”

“I will be fine,” she said, giving his arm a pat, like he was the one needing comforted. He and Akira were going about this support thing all wrong, weren’t they? Hopefully the fact that they were trying counted for something… “If you are sure you know a weed, you may pull it. If you aren’t sure, leave it and I will get to it after trash day.”

“I can do that,” Hikaru said. He’d watched her weed plenty of times. He’d seen her plant these plants. He totally knew what was a weed. Uh. Probably. If not he could always ask, right? “You go rest.”

“I’m going to resent being told to rest eventually,” Natsume said wryly. “Volatile stomach aside, I am not an invalid.”

“Fine, go… wash the dishes or something,” Hikaru said raising his hands. “We’ll both do something useful.”

“I will,” Natsume said with quiet determination. She straightened her shoulders back into her usual perfect posture.

There were some days, Hikaru thought as she went back inside, when he had the feeling she could have been a terrifying opponent across a Go board if her life had gone differently. She had a sharp mind and picked up what little he and Akira taught her after all. Instead she put that focus into daily tasks that Hikaru had to make himself do.

A kid made from her and Akira… it would be interesting to see what kind of person they turned out to be.

No matter what, Hikaru had a feeling they’d be a force of nature.

*o*o*

“Hikaru!” Waya whispered loudly. “How long has Touya’s wife been pregnant?”

Hikaru looked up from the Go board between them, frowning. “Uh… a couple months now? Didn’t I tell you this?”

“I think I’d have remembered something like this.”

“Unless you were drunk,” Hikaru said.

Waya scowled. “One, I don’t drink that much lately. Two, _you_ don’t drink much lately. Or go drinking with me and Isumi much. Or do anything outside of work much these days really. This is the first time in a while you’ve agreed to meet up when we weren’t already at the Go institute.”

Hikaru scowled right back. “I’ve been busy! And it still feels weird inviting you to Akira’s place.”

“You’ve been living here like a year now.”

“Yeah?”

“You sleep in their bed with them,” Waya pointed out.

“Well yeah, and it’s home, but it’s like, _their_ home first.” Hikaru waved a hand like it was totally normal. Waya moved in with Isumi and had been inviting people over to Isumi’s apartment before he’d even moved in.

Then again, Waya supposed Touya and his wife were a lot more intimidating and traditional than Isumi was. “Okay, but it’s your home too. I don’t mind having you over, but it’s kind of weird you don’t feel like inviting me here.”

Hikaru gave him an exasperated look. “Look around.”

Waya looked around. It was a place full of traditional décor and pretty ink paintings of flowers and landscapes and a bookcase filled with Go kifu and plant books. If there hadn’t been a small stack of kifu laid out on the desk and the Go board haphazardly placed at a diagonal, it would have looked like something from some home magazine. “And?”

“You’re a good friend, but you leave kifu wherever you go and forget teacups and have clutter. And we’re loud when we’re together.”

And Touya’s home was pretty quiet and meticulously organized. Yeah, okay, Waya could see where this was going. On the other hand… “You’re worse with clutter than I am.”

“I’ve gotten better!” Hikaru said indignantly.

Waya nodded at the kifu and Hikaru’s fan half open next to them.

Hikaru scowled. “It could have been Akira and me reading those together.”

“Your fan, your mess.”

Hikaru rolled his eyes. “Anyway, I still think I told you Natsume is pregnant.”

“I still say you didn’t.” Waya glanced back at the game they’d paused and made a move. “So… What’s it like?”

“What’s what like? Natsume being pregnant? Because I’m not directly experiencing a baby in me.” Hikaru played his response.

“No, like…” Weren’t there weird things pregnant women did? Or was that brides? Waya had to admit he wasn’t clear on the subject for either. “She doesn’t look super pregnant yet I guess, but some things have to be different.”

Hikaru glanced at the doorway. Natsume was in the kitchen, leaving things cooking while she experimented with knitting. Seeing what she was attempting, Waya had the feeling that either she’d never tried to knit before, or it wasn’t in her natural talents. Not that he’d say that to her face. He was pretty sure mood swings were something women had when pregnant. Probably. Hormones happened more then, right?

“Not too much is different,” Hikaru said after a moment. “Though Natsume keeps getting sick.”

“Wait, like cold-sick or…?”

“Throw up sick. I thought morning sickness was kind of an exaggeration, but turns out it’s not. It’s also really not just in mornings. I have no idea why anyone would want to be pregnant.”

“Because babies?” Waya said uncertainly, not really sure if babies were worth it. Actually, babies might be even more of a hassle than pregnancy sounded.

“Duh,” Hikaru said. “But I sure wouldn’t want to go through that. Kind of sucks I can’t do much more than make ginger tea and take over whatever she was working on when it happens.”

Waya gave Hikaru a considering look. He seemed to really mean that. Not that Waya ever thought Hikaru didn’t care for Touya’s wife, but when it came down to it, he always thought Touya was more the object of Hikaru’s affections. Or, well, attention since affection and Hiakru toward Touya didn’t really compute half the time when they were arguing over a Go board like idiots. Seeing them fight was the first time Touya Akira looked his age, and probably the first time Waya wasn’t intimidated by the guy. And here he was sitting in the man’s house, talking about his wife to their lover. The world was a weird place. “It’s good that you’re trying to help I think. I mean a lot of guys wouldn’t.”

“If a woman you’re with is miserable and you’re not helping, there’s a problem there,” Hikaru said.

“No, just. Pregnancy’s a woman’s thing.” Waya shrugged. “My sister had a kid and her husband was barely involved until the kid was born, and even then it was more on my sister for care.”

“No offense, but your brother-in-law sounds like a jerk.”

“He kind of is. He pisses me off a lot and my sister deserved better.” Waya shrugged. “So, glad that you’re being there for her.”

“We’re so bad at it,” Hikaru sighed. “Touya’s trying to pick up how to be comforting but he’s just—” Hikaru mimed holding a hand out like he was afraid to touch something and like said thing might explode any moment. “—like that. Honestly, a hug would work better.”

“Touya? Hugging? Never,” Waya said.

“He can hug, he just can’t under stress I guess.”

They went back to their game, pace speeding up. They’d almost reached endgame when Natsume wandered in, fresh pot of tea in hand and her sad attempt at knitting under her arm. “Sorry to interrupt,” she murmured, setting the tea down.

“No, thank you,” Waya said quickly.

“Yeah, thanks,” Hikaru said with a grin. “Figure out that stitch?” he asked with a nod to the knitting.

Natsume, who as far as Waya could tell had the emotional range of ‘polite-smile,’ ‘polite-disinterest,’ and ‘politely-laughing-at-boys-being-idiots,’ actually looked frustrated for a moment. Color him surprised, she was human after all. (He was never telling Hikaru some of the speculations people their age had when Touya got married what sort of person his wife could be. …Hikaru probably knew some of them, but he probably didn’t know half of the rumors circulating about how he fit into everything.)

“Not yet,” Natsume said with more thinly veiled frustration. “But I will figure it out. I can do embroidery, this should not be too difficult to figure out.”

“I’m sure you’ll get it,” Hikaru said optimistically. When Natsume wandered back out, he poured some tea and said, “I don’t know if she’s going to get more than the basic stitch, but boy is she going to try.”

“Why knitting?”

“She can’t garden much with the morning sickness and needed a new hobby? I think she figured she could knit the baby something?” Hikaru shrugged. “Don’t tell anyone I said this, but Akira figured it out and tried to show her and it’s still not computing for more than the first stitch.”

“…Hormones?”

“Yeah, can’t say that or she’ll be annoyed. Maybe knitting is just not her thing. She sews great though.”

“Maybe she should stick to sewing then,” Waya said.

“Akira and I have a bet how long it takes until she buries her knitting in the garden.”

Waya shook his head. “I’d never believe this would be your life a year ago.”

Hikaru grinned. “Me neither.” He clacked down a black stone, placing it just right so that Waya lost a good chunk of territory in the top-left corner of the board. Waya swore at him. “So I think I will be winning this game.”

“Like hell,” Waya retorted, buckling in for the rest of the end game. He was going to make Hikaru fight for every last moku.

*o*o*

“Natsume,” Akira said, struggling to keep a neutral face.

“Yes, Akira-san?” Natsume’s frown was starting to leave a crease between her eyebrows.

“I’m starting to feel…”

Natsume looked up, a smile on her face that dared him to comment. “Yes, Akira-san?”

Akira took a step back and cleared his throat. “Natsume, perhaps knitting is not for you.”

Natsume looked at the knitting in her lap. It had added and dropped stitches, gaps, and was loose in some places and too tight in others, and while there was a chunk that was fairly consistent and even, every attempt to progress in knitting techniques was clearly a failure. The frown on her face went deeper. “I’ve improved from the beginning.”

“You have,” Akira agreed. “And I’m sure you can learn.” Given enough time and a calmer mind. “But it’s stressing you out.”

“I’m fine,” Natsume said, her tense shoulders at odds with her words.

Akira risked setting a hand on his wife’s shoulder. “Are you even having fun with it?”

Natsume’s lips pressed together stubbornly for a moment before she sighed. The knitting got balled up in one hand. “It seemed like a relaxing hobby,” she said ruefully. “I have never felt less patient with something in my life,” she admitted. “I feel like I should at least make something before calling it a failed effort.”

“I don’t think anyone can say you haven’t tried.” Akira tugged at the neater area of her attempt. “Maybe a simple scarf?”

“I do have all this yarn,” she said. “It seems I was too ambitious.”

“Try again sometime in the future.”

“When I don’t have to worry about stress you mean?” Natsume said with a hint of her usual humor back in her eyes. She touched Akira’s hand on her shoulder. “Thank you for your concern, Akira-san.”

Hikaru, naturally, arrived home at that moment, strolling into the kitchen in a hurry. He stopped, seeing them close together at the kitchen table. “Oh, were you guys having a moment? Because if you wanted to have a private moment right now, I can just…”

Akira rolled his eyes. “Come here.”

Hikaru grinned and strolled over, draping an arm around Natsume’s shoulders and leaning against Akira’s side. “So, what was I missing?”

“An intervention,” Natsume said with a wry smile. She tossed the knitting on the table.

“Oh. Oh!” Hikaru laughed. “Okay. Uh, don’t take this the wrong way, but good. I’m pretty sure you were going to stab someone with those needles eventually at the rate you were going.”

“Of course not,” Natsume said, “I would never.”

Something in the demure, deadpan way she said it had Hikaru cracking up into Akira’s shoulder. “Uh, huh. Sure.”

“An inanimate object on the other hand,” Natsume said with a small smile spreading on her face.

“Oh no,” Hikaru giggled. “Yeah, this intervention is needed. Next thing I know you’ll be threatening things with kitchen knives.”

“And ruin my good knives?”

Akira gave in and laughed with them. It always amazed him how Hikaru could turn the mood right around.

“But,” Natsume said with a sigh, “I don’t know what to do with my time now.”

“If you were planning to try to do baby clothes, there’s still sewing,” Hikaru pointed out. His face lit up. “Ooh, you could make little formal clothes and the baby can look like a stuffy mini version of Akira!”

“Hikaru,” Akira said, pinching him in the side.

Hikaru elbowed back shamelessly. “Bet you the baby inherits your old man serious face. All…” He tried to imitate Akira’s expression, but ruined it because he couldn’t stop laughing.

“I don’t look like an old man.”

“You looked old when you were twelve, Akira,” Hikaru said. He grinned, bright and irresistible and so close Akira could count his eyelashes. “But I guess you’re too pretty to be a stuffy old geezer.”

“And I am not playing a game with you tonight,” Akira threatened, hiding his smile as Hikaru tried to backpedal, still laughing.

“No, no! It’s a compliment! C’mon, Akira, you’d be punishing yourself!”

Natsume laughed at them both.

Things weren’t so different yet after all.

*o*o*

Natsume and her mother made their way to their local shrine. They left more than the normal offering because this was important. This was the future—of her child, of her family, of Akira’s family name. Natsume prayed for a healthy child. She prayed for a future of happy smiles and balanced support. She prayed to be strong enough to keep the life growing in her secure enough to meet that future and beyond it.

Her mother was warm at Natsume’s side, her clap just a fraction behind her daughter’s. Who knew what her mother prayed for specifically, but they were united on a safe pregnancy, safe birth.

When Natsume opened her eyes, she saw her mother looking at her, maternal fondness in her eyes. It wasn’t something her mother frequently expressed, though Natsume never doubted that she cared. Still, the tenderness in her mother’s eyes as she cupped a hand at Natsume’s face filled her with warmth. This was why a shrine trip was made, mother and daughter, to pray. This was connecting the family together down the line.

It was the closest she’d felt to her mother in a long while.

“Let’s buy some charms and a sash,” her mother said, voice gentle. She stood straighter than she usually did, with purpose.

Later, maternity sash in place, Natsume tucked a charm up her sleeve with the memory of a day well spent with her mother.

*o*o*

They were trying, really they were. Hikaru had even tried reading one of Natsume’s gardening books, but no matter how much she tried to explain and how the book described things, Hikaru and Akira still weren’t doing as good a job as Natsume did. Of course, they had less time to spend on gardening than she used to, but it wasn’t pristine and overflowing with life the way it was when she tended it, a bit more haphazard and gone wild with unintended neglect since bending over a lot was becoming a problem.

Natsume looked at her garden from the porch, a wry smile on her face as Akira attempted to dead-head one of her flower bushes with pruners. He was leaving the flower heads where they fell and the bare stalks poking up, and Hikaru was pretty sure that wasn’t what he was supposed to be doing, but it was a bit too late to get him to change. He’d already gone through a half a flower bed.

“Are they getting enough water?” Hikaru asked with the watering can in one hand. “I can’t tell.”

“You’re doing fine, Hikaru,” Natsume said.

“Your face says we aren’t.”

“I’m glad for your help. Otherwise, everything would be halfway to dead by now. I’m merely wondering how I can get it ready for winter with the least amount of effort.”

“Wait, don’t you usually cut all the dead off to compost and prune things?” Hikaru shuffled the watering can around to his other hand; it was dripping on his shoe. “I think we can handle cutting dead plant bits.”

“Mm.” Natsume tilted her head as Akira missed the dead flower he was aiming for and accidentally cut off a healthy one. Hikaru tried not to grin as he heard a quiet swear. “I’m sure you can handle that bit, but I cannot leave you two to do the pruning. Your help is appreciated, but you wouldn’t know where to start. To be blunt, please don’t attempt it; I don’t want you to accidentally kill my plants.”

“Would it do that?” It had seemed like she pruned a bit of everything last year. Cutting off bits didn’t seem that hard.

“On certain plants? Yes. Or at least set back the work I’ve put into them.” She pursed her lips. More and more often, she showed little things like irritation that she used to hide. Hikaru thought it was probably a positive thing, but it was also a little strange since he’d literally known her for years before seeing some of the expressions she’d had in the last few months. “I could probably manage if I took a chair with me…”

“Will it cause more stress not to touch it, or to touch it?” Hikaru asked.

Natsume hummed again. She looked up at Hikaru and she looked tired, and it was one of those moments when he remembered she was actually older than him and Akira. Age wasn’t something he thought about with her; she felt like she’d come into the world calm and dignified and with a quiet sense of humor. “I know it is not my livelihood the way Go is for you and Akira-san, but it is my passion… I had not really considered how having a child would complicate that since I am always at home anyway.” She touched her stomach, and Hikaru had to look at the bump. It still caught him off guard, but maybe that was because it was always growing. “I do want a child, and I have no regrets. I suppose I am just missing being able to immerse myself in this.”

Not for the first time, Hikaru tried to picture having to go without Go for months and shivered. Yeah, that would be pretty awful. “We’ll try with a chair then. I mean the doctors said not to stress or work too hard, but this is also something that calms you down.”

“Thank you, Hikaru.” She smiled and glanced back at Akira. “Ah…could you please stop him from cutting those? I want a few to go to seed.”

“Of course,” Hikaru said, giving a little bow to make her giggle. Of course the laugh was more because he managed to spill the watering can in the process. “And I’ll…get back to watering!”

He wasn’t ever going to be a gardener, but at least they weren’t doing completely terrible. The effort was worth it for Natsume’s sake. And it was pretty calming. Or at least it was when Akira wasn’t being awful at it. Hikaru jogged over to pass on instructions.

*o*o*

Natsume’s mother moved around Natsume’s kitchen with the air of a woman slowly familiarizing herself with everything. She’d visited several times now, and seemed to plan to make it a regular thing, which Natsume wasn’t sure about. Her mother had both a bad back, and a very different preference of organization. Natsume might be fine relenting to her mother’s preferences in her childhood home, but she was starting to lose patience by the fifth time her mother absentmindedly reordered something in a cupboard.

This, too, would have been fine in the long run—if Natsume had anything, it was patience—but Hikaru was home and this was only the third time they’d ever met, and her mother Did Not Approve of him despite the fact that he was just as much a respectable Go player as Akira was.

Natsume thought it was probably Hikaru’s hair that first earned her mother’s ire. Moving in with her and Akira had been the final weight to tip the scale to permanent dislike no matter how kindly Natsume or Akira presented him.

Natsume was unspeakably grateful her mother had never witnessed Akira and Hikaru’s post-game ‘discussions.’

“You should cook in batches,” her mother said, reordering the spices, “that way you have food for several days so you can rest. I know it isn’t as satisfying or elaborate, but as you near your due date, you will need to conserve your energy for your child. Of course I will come here in the last few weeks to cover tasks you cannot do.”

Natsume did not point out that there were tasks her mother was frequently unable to do in her own household.

“And of course I will help the first week after the baby is born—”

“We intend to take shifts with that,” Natsume interrupted. “Akira and Hikaru have already informed the Go Institute that they will need time around March.”

Her mother shut the cupboard and frowned in her direction. “Does your husband think you are incapable of caring for your own child?”

“We have discussed shared parenting duties,” Natsume said, trying to project calm and serenity. It was much more difficult lately; it was amazing how quickly prolonged physical discomfort would wear down her patience. “I am going to be doing the bulk of child care.” There had never been a question about that; she didn’t have a job and both Akira and Hikaru did. “But for the first month especially we intend to share the burden as equally as possible.”

“And your…guest… is going to help?” her mother said skeptically. “How…generous.”

Natsume suppressed a sigh. “He is a part of this household,” she said for what felt like the hundredth time.

As if to prove a point, Hikaru walked past the kitchen with a basket of laundry—since her pregnancy progressed to affecting her balance some, both her husband and Hikaru had stepped in with any chore requiring lifting and balancing heavy objects. Hikaru might naturally be a chaotic person who put off his personal chores, but he was remarkably attentive in taking over Natsume’s. It was touching actually. It also gave her plenty to tease him about since he was terrible with remembering laundry when he first moved in, at least up until he agreed to let her do his wash along with everything else that needed it.

The sight of Hikaru balancing a basket on his hip made Natsume smile and her mother purse her lips.

“He does his part,” Natsume said, glad to have actual visual proof to convince her mother.

*o*o*

“Wait,” Akira said, setting down the dish he was drying. “Your grandfather is still alive?”

Hikaru, elbow deep in dish water, frowned. “Yeah? Did I ever say otherwise? I mean he’s really old, so I dunno how much longer he has, but he’s not dead yet.”

Akira set down the towel too, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Hikaru, your _Go-playing_ grandfather, the one that you’ve mentioned half a dozen times tried to get you interested in Go in elementary school, is alive and you somehow have never introduced us?”

Hikaru blinked at him. “Should I have?”

Akira exchanged a look with Natsume where she was putting away the last of the leftovers. “Hikaru, I have had dinner with your parents at least every other month for several years now. How have I not met the sole relative that actually appreciates a game of Go?”

Hikaru scratched at his face, leaving a blob of soap bubbles behind. “I mean, I did consider it ages ago when we first were really friends. Just.”

“Just what?”

With clear embarrassment, Hikaru refused to meet his eyes. “…I thought he might like you better back then.”

“Hikaru!”

“It’s a legitimate concern! My mom likes you better than she likes me!” Hikaru said.

“That’s just because you can’t be bothered to be polite,” Akira said. “Ever.”

“She’s my mom. She wouldn’t know how to react to me if I was polite.”

Natsume shook her head and put the last of the dirty dishes in Hikaru’s wash water. “It sounds like we should make a trip sometime soon, hmm?” she said, looking between the two of them. “I for one would like to meet another member of Hikaru-san’s family.”

“You too?” Hikaru asked, pouting.

“Well, neither of us have grandparents still alive for you to meet,” she said practically. “And as you’ve said, he does enjoy Go.”

“Ugh, fine. Gramps is going to be so weird about this, I know it.” Hikaru returned to scrubbing dishes. “You’ll probably like my grandmother though. She likes flowers.”

“Your grandmother’s alive too?” Akira said.

“Uggghhh,” Hikaru groaned, blocking his ear with his shoulder. “I get it, I suck with communicating! I’ll call them tomorrow!”

Natsume gave his cheek a kiss. “Thank you.”

(Everything went great with the visit. And Hikaru was right about his grandfather liking Akira more—up until Hikaru got in a debate with Akira over a few stone placements. Then he’d laughed and said that he now understood why someone like Akira would be with his idiot grandson. Natsume spent the entire time sipping tea with Hikaru’s grandmother and talking flowers and babies. It was a very relaxing trip over all.)

*o*o*

Natsume sat propped up by pillows on the bed, her growing belly carefully on display as Akira and Hikaru set a hand there. The fluttery feeling of kicks pressed back. It was fascinating now, like butterflies in her stomach, but she had a feeling it wouldn’t be quite so awe inspiring a month from now when the baby could kick with more strength.

“Ohmigosh, I felt that,” Hikaru whispered. He looked up at Natsume, eyes bright. “Natsume, it’s an actual baby in there.”

Natsume laughed. “Yes, yes it is.”

“You read the books,” Akira said. “You know what it’s supposed to look like by this point.”

“Yeah, but knowing and feeling are two different things.”

“Hmm.” Akira had a calm, happy smile on his face, more relaxed at the moment than he had been lately. It was nice to see. Natsume had worried that her pregnancy was causing him as much stress as it was her sometimes. Natsume was beyond glad that the awful morning sickness had finally let up.

“You know,” she said, pulling their hands to a different spot when the baby moved, “the books also say that the baby can start recognizing outside voices around now.”

“So we should…talk to it?” Hikaru asked, glancing up. “Uh, hey little baby in there. You grow all big and strong, ok?”

Akira snorted.

Hikaru elbowed him in the side. “I feel ridiculous talking to her stomach,” he mumbled.

Akira snorted again. “You used to talk to yourself all the time as a teenager. Pretend you’re doing that.”

Hikaru’s smile faltered. “That… That was different.”

Natsume caught his hand, lacing their fingers together. She might not know what they were referencing, but Akira did, and he looked apologetic immediately. Hikaru squeezed her hand, grateful for the silent comfort.

“Sorry,” Akira said. “How about a story instead? Practice for when the baby’s born?”

“A story…” Hikaru leaned close to their tangled hands. “Once upon a time, there was a man who loved to play Go more than anything in the world…”

*o*o*

“I notice that your room is being converted into a nursery,” Natsume’s mother said.

If Akira’s mom was a nice mother-in-law figure in Hikaru’s life, Natsume’s mother was kind of the exact opposite. Don’t get him wrong, she definitely cared about her daughter. She just was really nosey and really didn’t like Hikaru. At all. “Uh, yeah,” Hikaru said. He was just studying in the living room. Where had she even come from? He looked for Natsume. She wasn’t there.

“My daughter’s resting,” Natsume’s mother said, probably reading his mind. “Where will you be staying once it’s complete?”

“The… other guest room?” Hikaru hazarded. It had been made very clear that he shouldn’t mention he slept pretty much every night in bed with Akira and Natsume.

“The one that’s being used for storage? Where are you sleeping now?”

“The… living room? Futon?” Hikaru held up his book like a barrier. You’d think he’d be used to kind of scary old people considering his job, but no, there was kind of scary old Go people, and then there were kind of scary older mothers who thought they had their daughter’s best interest in mind. Yikes. “I’m helping do all the painting and redecorating in the nursery I swear!”

Natsume’s mother sniffed. “You’d better be. You realize now would be an ideal time to finally get your feet under yourself and find an independent home? You’re only going to be in the middle of Natsume and Akira-san building a family.”

Hikaru was getting really tired of this. She wasn’t even hinting anymore. “Look, I get that it’s not the usual way of doing things, but I’m planning to be another set of hands. I mean more people can only help when it comes to child care, right? Isn’t that why you keep coming over?”

The nasty look that got him was enough to have him hiding behind his book again. Yikes.

Well if he was going to be on her shit list no matter what he said… “And also, they already have a family, they’re just adding to it? You don’t have to have kids to have a family.”

“You are entirely missing my point,” Natsume’s mother said curtly.

“And you’re missing mine!” Hikaru wasn’t going to get anything done today, was he? At least the woman was polite enough whenever Akira was around. “I get you don’t like me. But I’m not going anywhere because they want me here as much as I want to be here.”

Another sniff, but she looked away so the topic was probably dropped for today. “You had best keep making yourself useful then,” she said, leaving the room.

“Ugh,” Hikaru sighed. “You and me both, lady.” He kind of wondered if it wouldn’t be a better idea to just move back in to his parents’ place for a little bit. But that would mean no cuddling with Akira and Natsume, no morning Go matches, or debates in the evening. No garden or talking to Natsume’s belly-bump. No, he’d put up with getting looked at like he was a home wrecker in favor of all the positive things.

“They are so lucky I love them,” he muttered, going back to his kifu studies.

*o*o*

Akira had a large bed. Or at least it had seemed large. It had fit him and Hikaru and Natsume well enough curled up together around each other.

But as he found himself dangling on the edge of the bed for the fourth time that month, Akira had to wonder if they maybe needed a larger one. “Natsume,” he murmured, gently pressing his wife’s shoulder. Her face scrunched, lacking the dignity she had when she was awake. “You’ve moved again.”

It wasn’t a problem when she slept on her back. But the closer to the end of her pregnancy, the more comfortable she was on her side—and the more space she took up. She’d also become a restless sleeper. Akira and Hikaru both found themselves at the edge of the bed more than once. It just depended on who was sleeping where that night. By mutual agreement, they’d put Natsume in the middle because it was better for one of them to get kicked out than for her to accidentally roll off the bed. 

“Natsume?”

“Mm… Akira?” She patted at his arm.

That was new, too, how in her less careful moments, she dropped honorifics like she sometimes did with Hikaru. It made him feel things that he didn’t want to examine too closely because they felt warm and embarrassing to dwell on, just like how he tried not to dwell on certain things Hikaru did that made his heart melt. “Budge over a bit?” Akira said gently.

“Mm,” Natsume hummed, rolling the other direction clumsily. She latched on to Hikaru. Her waking moments she was always controlled with touch, but asleep, she clung to anything warm.

Akira slid close against her back, an arm draped over her and onto Hikaru’s hip. The pillows smelled like both of them. Before he got married, he’d been worried that it wouldn’t work out. That despite how well the meetings had gone, and how their personalities hadn’t clashed, that the differences would be too much to handle, or that he’d be unhappy with a marriage that hadn’t been built from romantic love.

Love was a lot more complex than he’d given it credit, and manifested in so many different ways.

Happiness had never been a direct factor in any of this either, an aim for contentment at best. Happiness was something Akira knew better now than he had his whole life.

Hikaru made a sleepy sound, burrowing closer to Natsume, and somehow getting an arm around her and his fingers brushing Akira’s hair.

Akira closed his eyes, smiling.

*o*o*

Natsume couldn’t get comfortable, a constant ache in her lower back as the day went on. Last week she’d had a contraction scare, but it had turned out to be false contractions. With another week and a half until her projected due date, she wasn’t convinced this pain was the real deal or not. Her back ached plenty this last month with having to hold up unbalanced weight.

She stopped her attempt at dinner, rubbing her back. They had a bag packed for the clinic and the midwife and doctor were a phone call away. She didn’t want to scare Akira and Hikaru if it was a false alarm again.

In an hour, both men were due home.

Natsume resumed cooking, ignoring the pain as best she could. It _was_ getting a bit more frequent, but it might also be that she was dwelling on it too much and skewing what was actually happening. Vegetables into stir fry, cubes of meat, a bubbling sauce to glaze them, the rice cooker set to complete a few minutes before cooking was completed. Miso soup prepared with fresh dashi. Fresh fruit diced with red bean jelly for desert. A mild green tea to accompany everything.

The front door opened, Hikaru arriving first from the sound of it. His presence always filled the space where Akira moved quiet and unobtrusive most of the time. Natsume breathed through a stronger pain. Was it a contraction? Was the pain a handful of minutes later also one? She waited, still not a clear pattern.

“I’m home!” Hikaru said, sticking his head in the kitchen.

“Welcome home. Care to set the table?”

He gave her a kiss, casual as ever, before gathering up bowls and plates and utensils.

Natsume put the dessert away for after the meal, keeping it chill.

“Cups to match the teapot?”

“Please,” Natsume said, rubbing her back. Her legs were beginning to ache too.

Five minutes later, there was Akira, coming from teaching for the day. Hikaru greeted him enthusiastically. They sat down, like normal, dishing out food and talking about their day and Natsume listened, but she couldn’t quite keep attention on the conversation or the meal.

_Pain_. Count out the minutes…three…four…five…six…_Pain. _More regular. And definitely shortening in their intervals. It was a bit terrifying even though she’d know what had to happen eventually. No book, no class, no relaxation or meditation could adequately prepare her for this.

“Are you okay?” Hikaru’s voice cut through her thoughts. “Are you not feeling good? Is something wrong with the baby?” He and Akira looked equally concerned. It was almost funny how they kept doing that this last month if she looked the slightest bit off.

Natsume smiled despite the discomfort. “I’m fine. Although… I believe I might be going into labor.”

Hikaru’s chopsticks clattered onto his plate. Akira dropped a bite of rice in his lap. “_Now?”_ Hikaru squeaked.

“I thought it might be another false alarm,” she said. She took another bite of her food. She was going to need the energy no matter how her stomach was fluttering with sudden nerves as reality asserted itself. “The contractions are getting more frequent and stronger though.”

“Shouldn’t we be going? Like now?”

Akira seemed to be frozen in place, just like he had been when the false alarm happened.

“There’s no reason not to finish dinner. Even with contractions this close, it’s going to be hours before the baby comes.” That was the truly daunting thought, the task ahead of her looming. She hoped she would be strong enough for this.

“But, but…”

“You would rather it goes to waste?”

“Of course not!” Hikaru picked up his chopsticks, fumbling them.

“Eat, then I will call my mother and we can drive to the clinic.”

“Right,” Hikaru said, voice tight with panic. “Okay. Sure. Akira, eat!”

Mechanically, Akira did, still looking shell shocked and a little bit terrified.

One would think, Natsume thought wryly, that they were the ones who would be spending the next however long in labor. She braced against another contraction and finished her miso soup. Well, one of them had to be calm. It might as well be her.

*o*o*

They’d left dishes in the sink and leaving had been a mess of phone calls—the doctor, parents and in-laws, midwife. Hikaru couldn’t hold still. There were so many people all here for Natsume and he couldn’t stand watching her serious expression of determination without wanting to jump out of his own skin.

Akira was doing much better, but Hikaru had a feeling Akira was halfway in shock and working on autopilot. He was holding one of Natsume’s hands as the midwife instructed her to carefully walk up and down the hallway to ease along some of the process. Natsume’s mother was on her other side. Hikaru’s mom and Akira’s mother were there too, but a little ways away and he had no idea how to feel about any of this.

And there would be hours of this before the baby was actually here.

Hikaru slipped out the door for a moment to breathe. He wasn’t helping anyone in his panic.

He slipped out his phone. “C’mon, c’mon, pick up.”

The ringing on the other end stopped as it was answered.

“Oh thank goodness—”

“_Hikaru what the hell. It’s almost midnight.”_

“I know. But. Natsume’s having the baby!”

“_Now?”_

“Yes! Sort of! Babies take a lot of time to be born, especially the first time I guess!”

“_Then why the hell are you talking to me? Go be supportive!”_

“I need to freak out at someone! They’re all in there being calm!” Okay, Akira was the opposite of calm, but he wasn’t panicking in a distracting manner, so he had a free pass.

“_You said you all read books together on this, right?”_

_“_Right.” Hikaru ran a hand through his hair. It was shaking. Hoo boy.

_“And you each went to one of Natsume’s birthing classes with the meditation and breathing thingy.”_

“Yeah.”

“_So use some of what you know, dumbass!”_

“Wayaaaaa,” Hikaru whined. “I’m so freaked out I’m worried I’m going to freak her out and if she’s freaked out what if it makes things go wrong and if things go wrong, what if something happens to the baby and—”

_“Breathe,”_ Waya commanded. _“Natsume’s a really calm person. And even if she’s scared as heck—and she probably is—she’s not going to let you freaking out mess up her head space.”_ Hikaru didn’t answer and Waya sighed. “_Look, I’m in Osaka right now and I couldn’t get to Tokyo tonight if I tried. I’ll be there in the morning, ok? Just stop freaking out and go help support her. Just… think of it as a Go match. You’re playing against your own anxiety, but you have to win for her sake or something, ok?”_

“Yeah._” _Actually, putting it in those terms made Hikaru weirdly calmer. Gosh Waya was a good friend sometimes. “Thanks.”

“_Whatever. Go be supportive. I’ll drag Isumi along when I come tomorrow. Keep me posted.”_

_“_Yeah.” Hikaru hung up before Waya could. His mother poked her head out into the hall and waved him over. Oh boy.

“She’s going back into the birthing room, go keep Akira calm,” his mother ordered.

“Yes, Ma’am,” Hikaru said.

Natsume’s mother gave him a weird look when he walked in to stand next to Akira, but you know what? He was past feeling worried about her. Her opinion was her opinion and he was here for Akira and Natsume and their child. Heck, the midwife wasn’t even fazed by any of this.

He locked eyes with Natsume, a moment in between contractions and some of the tension around her eyes lessened.

_They need you_, he reminded himself. One hand on Akira, one hand around where Akira and Natsume’s hands were tangled together. It was going to be a long night.

*o*o*

“So,” Waya said looking at the baby in Akira’s arms. “Whose kid is it?”

“Waya!” Isumi gasped looking horrified. Hikaru rolled his eyes.

“Real nice, Waya. She’s Akira’s obviously.” Hikaru elbowed Waya in the ribs. “What do you take me for? I’m not having a kid with someone else’s wife.”

“No you just sleep wi—”

Isumi clamped a hand over Waya’s mouth. He bowed apologetically to Akira who watched with the bemused expression he reserved for Hikaru’s friends and some of his lover’s odder personality quirks. “Sorry about Waya, he doesn’t have a brain to mouth filter.”

“I can understand his uncertainty,” Akira said with tolerance. He leaned against Hikaru’s side as he looked at his daughter curled in his arms sleeping peacefully. “We discussed it earlier when children came up. Any children born will biologically be mine.”

“So how will parenting go?” Waya asked wiggling out of Isumi’s grip. Isumi frowned but Waya figured everyone expected him to be blunt. He might as well ask what they were both curious about.

“We’re sharing duties.”

“But I’ll be ‘Uncle Hikaru!’” Hikaru cut in with a grin. “She’s so tiny…Wonder if she’ll look more like you or Natsume?”

“I will be happy regardless.” Akira sighed, leaning heavier against Hikaru’s side. He had been up since three in the morning. His daughter came into the world less than four hours ago, and it was noon now. He hadn’t slept at all, too worried for Natsume’s sake and caught up in the blindsiding realization that he was actually a father now.

“Where’s Natsume-san?” Isumi asked.

“Sleeping,” Akira said. He smiled. “Bringing a life into the world is no easy task.” If he was so exhausted just from watching he could only imagine how tired Natsume was. If Hikaru hadn’t been there he wasn’t sure he would have been able to handle all the emotions. “Her parents were here earlier. Her mother wants to move in with us to help take care of the baby.”

“Ooh. That could be awkward.” Waya winced as Hikaru whapped him on the head. Really, there was nothing wrong with saying what everyone was thinking!

Akira couldn’t help but laugh softly, and more than a little hysterically, over the thought of his in-laws invading his home. It had been difficult enough to explain Hikaru’s constant presence during Natsume’s pregnancy and they got weird looks when he stuck around when Natsume went into labor. His daughter shifted in his arms, making soft noises at the back of her throat.

“What’s her name?” Isumi asked, politely diverting their attention back to the baby.

“Haruka,” Akira said. He traced her soft, red cheek. Newborns came into the world red and squished-faced and crying, but he seemed to find her perfect anyway. “The kanji for ‘sunlight’ and ‘flower’.”

“Natsume chose it,” Hikaru said.

“I’m surprised you used kanji since you both have names in katakana,” Waya joked. “Only just born and you’re imposing ideals on the little bean.”

“Little bean?” Hikaru echoed incredulously. “Woah, no calling our daughter a bean, Waya.”

“It’s like a cute affectionate nickname!” Waya protested. He dodged another half-hearted flail in his direction, hiding behind an exasperated Isumi. “I mean you’re pretty much her parent too, which makes Isumi and I extra kind-of-sort-of uncles, so, nickname!”

“Just call her by her name!”

Akira chuckled. Haruka wasn’t as amused by the noise though, and she scrunched up her face unhappily, a sound that was somewhere between a croak and a whine coming from her throat.

“…Touya, your daughter sounds like some sort of tree frog.”

This time Isumi smacked Waya on the back of the head. “And with that, we should give you your privacy,” he said. Isumi directed a genuine smile Akira’s way. “Congratulations again. We’ll visit properly after you have all returned home. We just wanted to make sure everything went okay.”

“I texted it did, didn’t I?” Hikaru muttered. He didn’t look annoyed though. Neither he nor Akira could hold on to irritation while the awe of having their daughter finally in the world. “I’ll catch you guys later. Uh, but we’ll see when that is. Pretty sure newborns take all your time and energy if the books are correct.”

“Thankfully we have three sets of parents and three of us,” Akira said just as Haruka started to cry properly.

“Good luck!” Waya called in parting.

Hikaru and Akira took Haruka back to Natsume, regrettably needing to wake her up; Haruka was hungry again.

Natsume woke from the noise, alert and worried for a handful of seconds before she saw Hikaru and Akira with the baby. She held out her arms and Haruka quieted some just from the transition.

“She knows her mom,” Hikaru said with a huge grin. Then, “Holy shit, Akira, we’re parents.”

“I hadn’t noticed,” Akira said drily. He sat at Natsume’s bedside with Hikaru crowded too close as Natsume fed their daughter.

“We’re parents,” Hikaru repeated, like it was really hitting him, a bit choked up. “I love you guys so much.”

Natsume leaned until her shoulders pressed against Hikaru’s and Akira put a hand on her arm, Hikaru’s hip. Together.

**Author's Note:**

> So, flower Akira was looking at that he didn't know the name of was a primrose. Baby's name has light connotations because both Akira and Hikaru (though written in katakana in the series) are names usually written with kanji for light. Since Natsume's name is written with kanji for Summer and Bud (like leaf bud), having a flower kanji in there worked too. 
> 
> You know it's funny because I can remember being in a coffee shop in 2016 glaring at this word doc and trying to plan the stupid 7 course traditional meal and ranting to my friend about how I write myself into weird corners and then do research that I don't even use. Like how I 100% didn't need to plan that meal or do that research because it just got skimmed over. I spent at least 3 hours googling shit back then for a couple paragraphs. Such is writing I guess. This ended up a lot longer than I ever intended it to be with lots of googling pregnancy things that I didn't actually want to know, and Japanese traditions in pregnancy, that are actually kind of interesting from a cultural side of things (like the 'Japanese food for a Japanese baby' and how you're expected not to stress about things, you protect/keep warm your baby bump, can legally register the pregnancy to get government support/health care/information if you need it, how you're expected to eat and move around while in labor (food for energy, moving to help deal with pain) and to 1)not be loud when giving birth, 2) have a natural birth. You're also not supposed to gain a certain amount of weight during your pregnancy?? Like, weird.) Anyway, I've looked up some odd things over the years for this fic and others. I'm glad to finally post this and close the open doc on my computer and move the file to complete instead of unfinished folder.


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